Invitation Read online

  I tried to pack up some of Chloe's things, but I didn't have the energy or the boxes for the job. So I called her mother. I was hoping it would go straight to messages, but, no, she picked it up. I’d known Mrs. Bayne since I was ten. She knew about most of what I had gone through.

  I was expecting her to be angry with me, since I had booted Chloe out, but she sounded more confused and concerned. It almost made me cry. I longed for some good and kind-hearted mother figure to talk to. But she soon started in on how Chloe was probably right to do whatever she had done and how I had to let Chloe come back.

  Of course Chloe's Mom believed in her, that was her job. That was the way things were supposed to go. Parent defends child. What the hell was wrong with my father? What the hell was wrong with me?

  I had no fight left in me, so I just hung up on her. It was rude and I was ashamed, but it didn't know what else there was to do.

  Her mother was wrong about a few things. The fact is, I didn't have to let Chloe come back. Only my name was on the lease. Losing my roommate would mean even more money problems, but it was worth it. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling safe around Chloe again. I would text her that she had a week to move her stuff out and then I would be changing the locks. I would tell her not to show up when I was going to be at home.

  She had no standing in that apartment. She had no standing in my life at all anymore.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  At work the next day, a nurse mentioned that Dr. Humphries was looking for me.

  “Who?” I asked.

  She told me it was Owen, my favorite power-abusing resident. Great. Well, sure, why not? I was having that kind of week. So I had him paged and then sat down to wait. Within a couple of minutes he was leaning lounge-lizard-like against the nursing station.

  “Come have coffee with me.” And that's the thing with this kind of job. Because he is a senior resident, he is basically my boss. Or he could be any day. He could make the next two years of my life complete hell. He could even fail me on a rotation and mess up my whole career.

  So you can never say no to these guys. Even though they treat the hospital like a bar they're trolling for dates, you have to treat them like esteemed medical professionals. It's a great set up. For them.

  As we walked down the stairs to the cafeteria, he lectured me about the five symptoms to watch for in something or other, and I nodded, trying to paste an interested look on my face.

  The cafeteria in our hospital is huge and Owen picked a table far from everybody else. We sat and he tapped his nails against the table. “So,” he said.” How are you doing?”

  “You mean at work here? Great. It's great.” I was so uncomfortable. I wondered how long I had to sit there to keep up the pretense of being respectful and polite. For the first time ever, I began to hope that my pager would go off.

  “You look kind of down.” He stopped, waiting, I guess for me to start in with my tale of woe. “If you need a friend, I'm a really good listener.”

  I couldn't decide whether to laugh or spit in his face. So this was the game, now. God he was creepy. Does this work on other women? Oh, I bet it does. Handsome doctor, smoothly pulling women in with his offers of compassionate listening and friendship.

  So why was it I trusted Liam so much more? Liam who offered nothing but physical pleasure. Oh wait, maybe it's because this slime ball had already tried to bribe me with putting a good word into the boss who supposedly hated me. If I would date him.

  But I had to keep it civil. I couldn't tell him to go to hell, much as I would have liked to. “Oh, sure, well thanks. That's a nice offer. I appreciate it, but I'm doing great. Everything is great. I'd really like to stay, but there's some lab work I need to track down before the end of the day, so I'm going to get going.” I stood to leave, but he grabbed my hand.

  Right at that moment I noticed Liam on the other side of the cafeteria. I had almost forgotten how handsome he was. Liam looked at me and then at my hand, which was still in Owen's grasp. His face clouded over. He put the tray he had been carrying down, and walked quickly from the room.

  “I have to go,” I said to Owen, and pulled my hand forcefully from his grasp. Nurses at another table had been watching us, and they started to giggle.

  Owen obviously thought they were laughing at him. His body tensed and he stood. “Follow me. Now.” I clenched my teeth together so hard I thought they would crack. So this was my life.

  I followed Owen in silence to the area where the call rooms are. On nights when we're on call, if we're really, really lucky, there is sometimes a lull in the excitement, and we get to collapse onto one of these uncomfortable beds.

  There was no way I was going into one of those rooms with Owen. He opened a door and said, “This way.” I hesitated. “I want to talk to you about how you embarrassed me back there. As a physician I need to be able to maintain a level of respect in the hospital. I can't do my job if I can't command respect.”

  “Okay. I get it. I'm sorry. My mistake.” I put my hands up and tried to back away.

  He stayed planted in the open door. “Great. That's good. Let's just go in here and talk. I can give you some tips for dealing with Olsen.” I had shifted my body and was moving to get away from here. To hell with my career, there was no way I was going in there.

  The thing is, once you've been through something really bad, you start to wonder if you're paranoid about every future interaction. You start to wonder if you're over-reacting to situations that someone else would find normal. But even I knew that there was nothing normal about this and that he was even more than an arrogant prick. There was something really nasty going on.

  I started to walk away and ran smack into Liam. Literally, I was suddenly pressed up against him. He held on to my shoulders and looked down at me. I wanted to wrap myself around him.

  “Sorry about that,” he said. He looked at me as if he didn't know me and walked off down the hall. He was so cold. I deserved it, but it still hurt. I watched him walking away from me and felt a terrible sadness.

  Suddenly I remembered who I had been trying to get away from. I looked back to the call room to see that Owen, too, was gone. I was all alone.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Seeing Liam in that depressing, grungy hallway made me really understand how good he was. He glowed. He was so handsome it sometimes hurt to look at him, but it was more than that. He had goodness and decency rolling off him in waves.

  I wanted to breathe him in. I wanted him to touch me, because when he touched me I felt new and clean. He had looked at me as though I were perfect. He had treated me as though I was whole, and intelligent, sexy and valuable. He was the opposite of everything Chloe and my father and Owen-the-snake were about.

  I had been thinking that I ought to be able to resist him. That wanting him was a weakness, and that maybe my father was right. Maybe I was a weak woman bound for hell, or at least a life of sin and misery.

  But it couldn't be true. Liam was like sunlight. He was like air. My body craved him because he was good for me. My mind craved him because he made me feel like I was a good person and that I was going to be all right. Meeting him had been the luckiest part of my life so far and I couldn't lose him. I had to talk to him. I had to try to get him back.

  I figured I'd find him on one of the cardiology wards and, sure enough, after a few false starts I tracked him down. He looked up as I entered the nursing station, where we sit to write notes, and quickly looked back down again.

  I sat beside him and pretended to write in a patient's chart. Neither of us wanted to look like unprofessional horny teenagers who were making dates in the hospital. But I couldn't just send him a text. I needed to be close to him when we spoke. I needed to see him. I needed him to see me, so he could really know that I was sorry, and that I wanted him.

  I wrote a note and passed it to him. 'Can we talk?' Then I wrote 'YES /NO' underneath it. He did not react, and I thought he was ignoring it. My heart plummeted. I had dumped all my
garbage on him and then brushed him off with a text. Then I had avoided him for a week with no explanation at all. I thought he would understand if I could just explain everything. But if he wouldn't give me that chance, then what?

  I took the note back and wrote 'We can walk to my place after work. Chloe’s gone'. I pushed it back again. He read it and rubbed his hands across his face. He looked tired and frustrated and torn. Who can blame him? I don't even want to deal with myself. Why would anyone else?

  I took the note back once more and wrote, “I have water. Will attempt not to spill it on you. But have stocked up on baking soda, just in case.”

  It seemed like a century had passed since our coffee shop fiasco. I wasn't sure he'd even know what I was talking about. But I heard a quiet laugh beside me and when I looked up he was smiling. At me. It was like the sun bursting through the rain. I wanted to place my hands on the sides of his face and kiss him. He circled YES and passed it back.

  “I'll be finished in half an hour,” he whispered. “Meet me at the back entrance.”

  I hurried over to Pediatrics to check on some of my kids before I left. Alex had finished his last round of chemo and was perking up a bit. I still had to wear a mask to see him, but he seemed stronger.

  “Not too long before we're back to racing in the hall, buddy.” He looked up and smiled weakly. “I'm going to DESTROY you!” he tried to yell. His voice was dry and weak.

  “Geez, that sounds more like monster trucks than car racing.”

  “I LOVE monster trucks,” he whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

  I left my lab coat and stethoscope in the student lounge, grabbed my raincoat and headed out back to wait for Liam.

  Half an hour passed and there was no sign of him. I started to panic. I had finally realized how good he was, how important he was to me, and it was too late. Maybe he'd had time to come to his senses. He'd probably thought about it more and decided I was too much work.

  Losing him now was such a cruel trick of fate that it took my breath away. I waited ten more minutes, and then began walking home. It started to rain. I tried to hurry, but I was drenched in no time.

  The rain pounded down so loudly that I didn't hear the footsteps approaching from behind. Suddenly Liam was beside me, grabbing my arm. “Hey, don't be mad. I came as soon as I could. I couldn't text you because I was talking to a patient.”

  I was so happy and relieved. I had no ability to play it cool. I was smiling so widely my face hurt. “I'm not mad! I thought you weren't coming. I wouldn't blame you at all.”

  He let go of my arm and we stood facing each other. I became aware of just how wet it was. The rain poured off our hair and eyelashes. He looked sexy as hell as the water pooled on his lips, but I was sure I looked awful.

  He brushed the wet strands of hair from my forehead and stared at me. “You're so pretty in the rain.” He could make everything okay so easily.

  As we walked toward my apartment, I told him about Chloe and my father. “I'm not telling you this to dump it on you. I don't want you to have to deal with any of this. I just want to tell you why I disappeared for a while.” He didn't say much, but he didn't turn to leave either.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  When we got home, we hung our soggy things up to dry and I cranked up the heat. I am always cold. On a good day I'm colder than anyone else in a room, but on a rainy dark day in March, I am cold down to my bones. I was shivering, but trying not to show it.

  “Time to warm you up. Where's your bed?”

  I choked out a laugh. “Wow. Even for you that's pretty bold.”

  “I was just going to let you get warm. Wrapping up in warm pajamas and some blankets in the best way.”

  I was a little embarrassed; because it turns out I was the one being a little too bold. “Okay, I'll warm up. That sounds great actually.” So I took my things into the bathroom. I put my black bra and panties under my flannel pajamas. Just in case.

  I found Liam already in my room, pulling the blankets down. “In you go.” He tucked me in and then lay down beside me.

  His face turned serious. “Why am I here?” He was asking why, after everything that had happened, did I still want him around? I wasn't sure I had all the right words I would need to explain it.

  “Because I feel good when I'm with you.” It was in some ways much too simple, and in some ways the whole truth. The answer was clearly acceptable, because he brought his face in close to mine.

  People use the word irresistible all the time, but that is what Liam was for me. We started kissing and within a couple of seconds I was filled with heat and desire. He joined me under the blankets and our bodies twined together. His leg was between my legs, rubbing up against my core. I was desperate with need. I suddenly had to get those pajamas off. I wanted to feel him everywhere on me.

  I wasn't afraid, I was on fire. I was almost ripping his clothes off. He was quickly naked. I wrapped myself around him, and moved to be on top. I felt almost, deliciously, out of control. I kissed his mouth and his neck. I bit his lips. He growled and pulled me down onto him. My pussy ached to be touched, and my hips rocked against him. He grabbed my hips and pushed himself roughly against me. He rocked slowly until my eyes were closed and my nails dug into his shoulders.

  He maneuvered me onto my back and started kissing my face and my neck.

  “Remember when I said I was going to kiss you all over?” he asked.

  I was breathing so hard I could only whisper “Yes”.

  “Well, that's not going to happen right now because I can't slow this down.” He clawed at my pajama top almost desperately. “I have to feel you.” His fingers fumbled with the buttons, until he growled with frustration and tore the last three off. He looked down at me and moaned.

  “Oh, I want this to last and last. Look at you. Oh my god, you're so beautiful.” He moved the lace of my bra down, exposing a swollen nipple. “These are the most beautiful breasts.” He sucked my nipple and bit down gently. He moved side-to-side, licking and biting my nipples until they were hard and sensitive.

  He pulled me up to sitting, pulled the pajama top away and took off the bra. He leaned down and cupped both my breasts in his hands. He pressed them together and rubbed one nipple with his thumb while he bit and sucked on the other. My back arched and I pulled him back down on the bed with me.

  He moved between my legs and lowered himself. I was wild with desire. Every part of me ached with the need for him. He continued kissing me and moaning softly in my ear. It made me crazy. I grabbed his ass and pressed up against his hardness, my legs wrapped around him, pinning him in exactly the right position to give pressure and pleasure to just the right place.

  He grabbed my hands and pinned them over my head, laughing. He knew I was feeling good. He knew he was the reason. “Keep your hands up here,” he ordered. I grasped onto the bars of my bed, but my body continued to move under him. I closed my eyes. I was gone. He could do anything.

  He stood up to pull off my pajama bottoms. He ran his hands down the sides of my hips. “Oh, you look so good. I just want to stare at you.”

  “Don't you dare,” I gasped. “Touch me. Please, touch me.”

  “Where?” he licked my abdomen and ran his fingers lightly up my inner thighs. He stroked the fabric of my underwear, everywhere but my sweetest spot. My head swung back and forth, my mind lost to the gathering waves of pleasure.

  “Do you want me to lick you?” he teased. A cry of pleasure escaped my mouth. All I could say was “Please.”

  “Please what?”

  “Please lick me.”

  The words turned us both on even more.

  He moved back on the bed and took hold of my panties. He moved them slowly down my hips. When I lifted my hips to help him, he kissed the top of my mound and pressed down with his mouth. I cried out again.

  When my panties were entirely off he suddenly stopped moving. I looked up at him. “I want you to catch your breath,” he said, “I'm going to take m
y time with this.”

  I tried to calm my body down but it was so far gone. He moved back between my legs and began to kiss my mound. I could tell it was swollen and dripping and hot. I heard him inhaling. “You smell so good.” My hands moved to grab his head, but he pushed them away. “Back above your head, now! This is going to be slow and hot. You'll have to beg me to let you come.”

  He took his two thumbs and ran them softly down the edges of my cleft. He pulled back my outer lips and blew gently on my pussy. I moaned louder. Then he started taking tiny licks all around my inner lips.

  “You taste amazing. I'm just going to stay right here licking you like a popsicle.” He started low and worked up towards my aching, desperate clitoris.

  His tongue darted in and out, driving me wild with increasing pleasure and tension. He put his hands on my lips and spread me wide apart. His tongue circled my tender outer entrance, then pushed its way it. Deeper and deeper he went, his tongue circling and flicking. He stayed in there until I was nearly coming. My hips pressed up hard against him.

  He pulled out and breathed softly on me. He was making me wait. He bit my thighs gently while I slowed my breathing.

  I tried to relax, but the throbbing in my pussy and around my clitoris was almost unbearable. If he didn't do something, I would have to throw him off the bed and finish things myself. But I really, really wanted him to be the one to make me come. I wanted to come all over his beautiful lips. I wanted his tongue and his fingers buried deep inside me.

  He put his mouth over my tiny swollen mound and sucked gently. I cried out, spreading my legs as wide as they would go, pushing my pussy up against his mouth.

  I couldn't control myself anymore. I grabbed his head and pulled him into me. As his tongue stroked my clitoris, he put one finger inside me and circled it gently around. Then he did it with two, then three. He increased the pressure on my clitoris, licking me harder in strong circles while he pushed his fingers up deeper inside me. I couldn't distinguish the pleasures anymore. It was all one burning spot of complete ecstasy.